jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

whats the difference between outlaws and inlaws

outlaws are wanted

come on reblog this my grandma told me this joke and was convinced she was going to be famous on tumblr for it

every time my mom and grandma get into an argument my grandma says “excuse me pamela i am famous on the tumbler”

joichang:

riddlemetom:

unfollower:

I like how sweden just decided one day that gender is fucking bullshit so they got a gender neutral pronoun and stopped separating boy clothes and girl clothes and have pictures of spiderman pushing a baby stroller in a toy magazine why isn’t every country like sweden

you push that stroller sassy spiderman!

image

you fight those bad guys girlfriend!

image

you style that hair lil’ dude!

image

and in that moment, i swear we all wanted to be swedish.

alinatotheleft:

flexblr:

youknowimgood4it:

Taken from reddit but it can’t be stressed enough

Making fun of fat people at the gym is like making fun of sick people at the hospital.

"Lol wow you’re doing chemotherapy? Clearly you suck at it if you still have cancer."

Quite possibly the best/worst fortune cookie fortune ever.

unclefather:

my ex sent me pics of another girl sucking his weiner one time because he thought it would make me mad and i wrote back “did your mom do something different with her hair?” 

konpozaa:

lifebien:

konpozaa:

this could be us but u a video game character

Doesn’t that make YOU the one that’s playin

Shit. shit. It was ME playin all along. Dammit

lieutenantbites:

the-unpopular-opinions:

If you live in any of the places highlighted in red, I automatically assume you are unintelligent. You are all nothing but a bunch of uneducated, backwards, racist, crooked teeth, inbreds who couldn’t properly speak your way out of a paper bag. First of all, it is a FOOTPATH not a SIDEWALK. Second of all, it’s called a FIZZY DRINK not a SODA. Third of all, they are called SHOPPING TROLLEYS not SHOPPING CARTS. Fourth of all, your accents are beyond atrocious, and going back to basic 1st grade speech classes will be in order. I am so glad that most Americans do not move out of their region. Even if you’re not a stereotypical hick, you all still have hick-like qualities about you.

So please, just know that if you are from Noth America, I truly and honestly believe that you are beneath me. I pity your educational systems (and drivers ed as well). If you’re from the US and you EVER in your life try to get into an argument with me, I will laugh at you in your face. You’re not worth my time. I hate the way people from Canada talk as well, but I can tolerate that much more than I can any american accent. I am extremely privileged to be living in a European country. Where I was born and raised alone proves that I am far more intelligent than you are. If it ever came between a US citizen having a job oppurtunity and someone from a civilized place such as me, or somebody from Russia or Asia or Australia, we are more likely to get hired. Just keep that in mind.

I really don’t consider Alaska a part of the US, so you all are excused.

look how mad this person is not because america is shitty

but because we have accents and talk differently

I can’t tell if I’m laughing angrily cause I’m offended or if I’m laughing because this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.

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